Screens, gaming, social media and substances: when they stop being leisure

What problematic use is

Phones, video games and social media are part of almost everyone's life, and in themselves they are not a problem. They are where you work, where you meet people, where you laugh, where you get bored and where you hide. The question is not how many hours, but what happens without them: whether you can stop, whether you still do everything else, whether the rest of your life is still standing.

Use becomes problematic when the screen comes before everything else: sleep, work, eating, seeing people in person. When stopping puts you in a bad mood out of all proportion. When it is the only way you have left to feel good, or to feel nothing. Online gambling follows the same logic, with the difference that it also takes the money.

With substances the signal is not trying something, but the routine. The drink that is no longer a celebration but every night's way to switch off, the joint you cannot sleep without, the line it takes to get through the weekend. Party use and functional use are different things, and the second one settles in without anyone deciding it.

How to recognise it

• The screen costs you sleep: you go to bed much later than you meant to, or you wake up and the first thing is the phone.
• You have dropped things you enjoyed, or stopped seeing people away from the screen, and you are not sure when that happened.
• You drink or use almost every day and it is no longer to celebrate anything: it is to come down, to sleep, to get through.
• You have tried to cut back, play less, drink less, and it did not last; every time you talk it over with yourself it is to justify it.
• You lie, even by omission, about how long, how much money or how much you have had.

What helps

Looking at what function it serves. Nobody games until four or drinks every night for no reason. The screen or the substance is covering something: anxiety, loneliness, boredom, a job that drains you, a relationship that weighs on you. Treating only the habit leaves the cause untouched, and the cause finds another way out.

Small changes that hold. The phone out of the bedroom at night, one day a week without drinking, a game with an end agreed before it starts. A total cut with no alternative usually lasts a week; a small change that is kept lasts months.

Someone to tell. Problematic use grows in silence. Saying it out loud to someone you trust is usually the first real change, before any technique.

What therapy does. In therapy you explore what the screen or the substance gives you, what is underneath and what else could take that place, and build changes you can keep without fighting yourself every day. With substances, when use needs medical care, therapy is coordinated with it, not a substitute for it.

What it does not do. It is not a punishment, it is not a detox, and it will not ask you to give up your phone.

When to seek help

A week of heavy gaming, a long weekend or a drunken night you regret are not reasons to consult. It is time to seek help when use has come before sleep, work or relationships for weeks, when you have tried to cut back and cannot, when you use in secret or lie about it, or when you notice the screen or the substance is the only way you have left to feel good.

If there is intoxication, a crisis or immediate risk, call 112. If you, or the person you are reading this for, talk about self-harm, call 024 (Línea 24h de atención a la conducta suicida). We Are Psycho does not handle emergencies.

• 

  Jordi Dou

  General Health Psychologist (Col. 30243)

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  Sofia Falaschi

  General Health Psychologist

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• 

  Martí Rodriguez

  General Health Psychologist

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Frequently asked questions

How many hours of screen time are too many?

There is no figure that works for everyone. What matters more is what it displaces: whether you sleep, work, see people, can stop. Two hours that cost sleep weigh more than four on a Saturday afternoon.

I drink every night when I get home. Is that a problem?

It depends on what it is for. If it is the only way to switch off, if you cannot sleep without it, if you have tried skipping a night and it did not work, it is use that serves a function, and that is what is worth looking at. You do not need to reach an addiction to ask for help with it.

Can I stop on my own?

Many people cut back on the phone or alcohol by themselves, and if it works for you, go ahead. When you have several attempts behind you that did not last, what is failing is not willpower but whatever the screen or the substance is covering, and that is easier to see with someone.

My teenager has tried alcohol or cannabis. Is it an addiction?

A first contact is not an addiction. It is the moment to talk, to understand why and with whom, and to give information without drama. If use is repeated, hidden or comes with changes in mood or performance, it is worth consulting a professional.

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