For you, if you are 14 to 17

Wanting to talk to someone is normal

Wanting to talk to someone who is not from your home or your class does not mean there is something wrong with your head. It means you are carrying something heavy and do not know where to put it down. At your age a lot happens at once, inside and out, and there is not always an adult nearby who listens without judging or getting nervous.

A psychologist is that: an adult, trained to listen, who is not your family or your teacher and who will not tell them what you say. In therapy you talk about what is going on, at your own pace, and work out together what to do with it. You will not get a lecture, you will not be given homework you do not want, and nobody will decide for you.

At Psycho you can look at the profiles of the psychologists who work with people your age and choose who you would feel comfortable with. What you cannot do on your own is book and pay: an adult responsible for you has to do that. If you do not want it to be your parents, further down we explain what other options you have.

If any of this is happening to you

• At home there is fighting all the time, or a silence that weighs more than the fighting, and you are in the middle.
• You feel that nobody gets you, at home or outside, and that explaining would be pointless.
• Going to school has become an uphill climb every morning, and it is not about grades.
• Your friends have turned on you, left you out of the group or make you feel bad when you are with them.
• You do not sleep, or sleep terribly, and go through the day in a fog.
• You have hurt yourself on purpose, or thought about it, and have not told anyone.

What helps

Telling someone. It does not have to be the perfect person and you do not have to explain it well. An adult you trust (a mother, a father, an aunt, a teacher, the school counsellor, a friend's mother) can be the first step towards a professional. You can start by writing it down, if talking is hard.

If you do not want to involve your parents. You have options. You can talk to Fundación ANAR, which supports people your age for free and without anyone having to know, and guides you on what to do. You can go to your school counsellor. And if what you feel is very strong and you cannot take any more, there is a helpline for exactly that, 024, which answers at any hour.

What therapy does. It helps you put in order what is happening, understand why you feel this way and try ways of feeling better that make sense to you. What you say stays there. Your psychologist will take you seriously, even if what is going on seems small or strange to you.

What it does not do. It does not fix your parents or your school, and it does not turn you into someone else. It does not make you talk about what you do not want to. And it is not forever: you keep checking whether it is helping, and you can say no.

When not to wait

Feeling bad for a few days over something specific is normal, and it usually passes. Do not wait if it has gone on for weeks, if you have stopped doing things you enjoyed, if going to class is hard or if you catch yourself thinking it would be better not to be here.

If you have hurt yourself or are thinking about it, call 024 (Línea 24h de atención a la conducta suicida) now: it is a line for exactly this, and it does not have to be an emergency. If you are in danger right now, call 112. We Are Psycho does not provide emergency care, but these lines do.

• 

  Ainhoa Corbera

  Licensed psychologist · Clinical director

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• 

  Joan Salmerón

  Licensed Clinical Psychologist

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• 

  Oriol Mercadé Canals

  General Health Psychologist, Sports Psychologist, Psychologist specializing in sleep disorders

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Frequently asked questions

Will my parents know what I say in therapy?

No. What you say in session is between you and your psychologist. Your parents know that you go, how it is going in general terms and little else. The only exception is a serious risk to your safety: then your psychologist tells you first and you work out together how to share it.

Can I choose the psychologist?

Yes. You can look at the profiles, see who works with people your age and say who you want to start with. The adult responsible for you does the booking and the payment, but the choice can be yours. And if you do not feel comfortable in the first session, you can change.

What if I am under 14?

You can ask for help too, and everything on this page applies to you as well. In that case the family tends to be more present in therapy. If you do not want to talk to your parents, Fundación ANAR supports anyone under 18.

Related reading

• I feel like I have no friendsFeeling friendless hurts, but it can change. Here are practical steps to build meaningful relationships and reduce isolation.
• I have conflicts with my parentsFamily conflict is common in adolescence. Better communication and clearer boundaries can reduce daily tension.
• I can't accept myselfHarsh self-criticism and comparison can damage self-esteem. Learn practical ways to build a more supportive relationship with yourself.