Guide for parents of a teenager
Your son or daughter has changed and you do not know whether it is the age or something more. This guide explains what adolescence does to mood, which signs it does not explain, how to open the conversation and what therapy with a teenager looks like.
Updated: September 11, 2026
What adolescence does and what it does not explain
Adolescence reorganises the brain, the body and the place your son or daughter holds in the world, and it does all of it at once. Between thirteen and seventeen it is normal for mood to rise and fall within a single day, for the bedroom door to close more often, for friends to weigh more than family and for answers to get shorter. They need distance to find out who they are outside the home, and that distance hurts the person watching from outside.
That is the age. What the age does not explain is something else: a change that does not move. Sadness that lasts weeks instead of afternoons. Withdrawal that is no longer only from the family but from friends too. Sleep, food or schoolwork that fall out of order and do not settle back. Irritability that has become the usual way of being.
The difference is not in the intensity of one day but in duration and reach. A bad moment passes and leaves the rest of life intact. A problem settles in and keeps taking ground. You know your son or daughter better than anyone: if something tells you this is not the usual, that instinct deserves attention.
How to recognise that there is more to it
- They have been pulling away from everything: not only from you, but from friends, from activities they enjoyed and from weekend plans.
- They have slept badly for weeks, or sleep at any hour and struggle to get up even after resting.
- Grades have dropped, they skip classes, or school has become a source of distress that was not there before.
- Screens are no longer a pastime but a refuge: they get very angry if you take them away and seem emptier when they put them down.
- They have changed friends suddenly, been left without any, or come back from seeing them worse than they left.
- Irritability is no longer a reaction but a state: anything sparks an argument and there is no way back to calm afterwards.
- You have seen marks on their arms or legs, long sleeves in the heat, or heard comments about not wanting to be here or nothing mattering.
What helps
Opening the conversation without interrogating. Choose a quiet moment, side by side rather than face to face: in the car, cooking, walking. Say what you have seen, not what you have concluded: "you have seemed flatter for a few weeks". Then leave silence. If nothing comes out the first time, the door stays open for the second.
What does not help. Minimising ("everyone is like that at your age"), comparing, punishing the withdrawal or checking their phone in secret. Nor turning every dinner into a session. A teenager who feels watched closes up more, not less.
What therapy with a teenager looks like at Psycho. You choose the psychologist from those who work with adolescents, manage the appointments and take care of payment. Your son or daughter has their own confidential space: what they say in session stays between the two of them, unless there is a risk to their safety, in which case you are told. When the work calls for it, the therapist brings the family into a session or gives you guidance for home.
What it does not do. It does not force anyone to talk: if your teenager does not want to go, the first session can be yours, to think about how to raise it. It does not issue official diagnoses or reports for third parties. And it does not replace medical care or emergency services when those are needed.
When to ask for help
A change of mood that lasts a few days and has a reason is part of growing up. It is time to talk to a professional if what you see has lasted more than two or three weeks, if it affects more than one area at once (sleep, school, friends, food) or if your son or daughter asks you for it, however clumsily.
If they have talked about hurting themselves or not wanting to be here, or you have seen signs of self-harm, do not leave it until next week: call 024 (Línea 24h de atención a la conducta suicida). In immediate danger, call 112. We Are Psycho does not provide emergency care.
Who you would talk to
Licensed professionals on our team who work on this. You choose, and you can change if it does not fit.
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Ainhoa Corbera
Licensed psychologist · Clinical director
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Joan Salmerón
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
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Oriol Mercadé Canals
General Health Psychologist, Sports Psychologist, Psychologist specializing in sleep disorders
Frequently asked questions
- Is what my teenager says in therapy confidential?
- Yes. Therapy works because the teenager knows that what they say stays in the session. The therapist keeps you informed about how the process is going in general terms and tells you if a risk to their safety appears. What they do not do is share the content of the sessions.
- Do I have to be present in the sessions?
- Usually not. The sessions belong to the teenager. You can be there for the first one to meet and agree how you will work, and the therapist will ask you to join a family session when it helps. With younger adolescents, the family tends to be more present.
- What if my teenager refuses to go?
- It is common, and not a reason to force it. You can book a first session for yourself: the therapist helps you understand what you are seeing and raise it at home in a way that does not sound like a threat. It usually helps when they know they can try one session and decide afterwards whether to continue.
- How much does it cost?
- Each psychologist sets the price of their session and you see it on their profile before booking. You pay session by session, with no commitment to continue.
Sources
An informational guide prepared by We Are Psycho from reference bodies and guidelines. It does not replace an individual clinical assessment.