Studies, decisions and new stages: when you do not know what to do
If you do not know what to study, a new stage has thrown you, you start things and drop them, or a bad result has taken away your will to try again, this guide is for you. It explains what lies behind it, what really helps and when it is time to talk to someone.
Updated: September 27, 2026
What happens when you do not know what to do
In adolescence and young adulthood, some of the weightiest decisions arrive almost one after another: which path to choose at school, what to study next, whether to keep studying or start working, whether to leave home. And all around you, everyone asks what you are going to do. When you are not sure, it feels like deciding your whole life, and the heavier the decision, the harder it is to make. Being stuck is rarely indecision: it is fear of getting it wrong, in disguise.
New stages unsettle you too, even when you chose them: starting at a new school or university, moving city, leaving a group of friends behind, going from studying to working. For a while it is normal to feel lost, miss what came before and doubt the decision you made.
Lack of motivation works in a similar way. It is not that you do not want to: it is that the effort does not connect with anything that matters to you, or what matters is so far away that the first step does not seem to count. And a bad result, when it comes, does not only hurt because of what was lost: it hurts because of what you think it says about you. That conclusion, "I'm not good enough", is what stops you trying again.
How to tell it is more than a rough patch
- You have to decide what to study or do next year, and every time you think about it you feel overwhelmed and put it off again.
- You ask everyone for their opinion and then ignore all of them, because no answer takes away the fear of getting it wrong.
- You started a course or a new stage and do not feel you belong, but you are afraid to admit it or leave.
- You start things full of energy and drop them within a few weeks, and no longer believe your own resolutions.
- A bad result has left you with no desire to try again, and you avoid even talking about it.
- You compare yourself with people your age who seem to have it all figured out, and feel behind.
- You feel your family expects something of you that you are not sure you want, or can do.
What helps
Deciding small. No decision is your whole life. Choosing what to try next year is a decision you can make; choosing who you will be is not. Shrinking the question makes it answerable, and almost every decision at this stage can be revisited later.
Getting information before deciding. Talking to people who study or work in what interests you, visiting places, trying short courses or activities. Many doubts clear up with information, not with more thinking.
Giving yourself time in the change. Adapting to a new stage takes weeks or months. Looking after what keeps you going, sleep, movement, staying in touch with the people who matter to you, helps you through that time (NHS).
Starting so small you cannot fail. Five minutes, one page, one phone call. The first step is not for getting ahead: it is for showing yourself you can take the next one.
Separating the result from the person. Failing an exam does not make you a failure: it is a result. It sounds like a difference in words, and it is the difference between trying again or not. The ability to bounce back from setbacks can be built (APA).
What therapy does. At We Are Psycho we explore what is behind being stuck, fear of getting it wrong, self-demand, comparison or other people's expectations, and work with your actual decisions and habits, not theory. You learn to tolerate the uncertainty of not knowing everything and to get back up after a bad result without turning it into a verdict.
What it does not do. It does not decide for you or tell you what to study. It helps you be able to decide. Specific academic guidance is provided by your school's guidance services.
When to ask for help
Not knowing what to do at sixteen or twenty-three is normal. It is time to talk to a professional when being stuck has lasted months and is costing you opportunities, when lack of motivation has spread to everything and looks more like low mood than doubt, when a bad result has turned into a story about your worth or when pressure, your own or other people's, is hurting you.
If feeling worthless has reached thoughts of hurting yourself, do not wait: call 024 (Línea 24h de atención a la conducta suicida). In immediate danger, call 112. We Are Psycho does not provide emergency care.
Frequently asked questions
- Can therapy help me decide what to study?
- It will not tell you what to choose. It helps you understand what is blocking you, what really matters to you and how to make a decision you can revisit later without feeling you have failed. Specific academic guidance is provided by guidance services.
- What if I choose the wrong course?
- Changing course is not a failure: many people do it, and it is often how they find what suits them. What helps is being able to make that decision calmly and without punishing yourself for it.
- How do I know if it is lack of motivation or depression?
- Lack of motivation tends to be selective: you do not feel like doing this, but you do feel like doing other things. Depression switches everything off, lasts weeks and affects sleep, energy and how you see yourself. If in doubt, the depression guide helps tell them apart, and a professional can assess it with you.
- How does therapy work at We Are Psycho?
- It is online and confidential. You tell us what is going on, we suggest the psychologist who fits you best and you choose. If you are under 18, the booking is made by a responsible adult. If you have questions about how it works first, we explain it in a free 20-minute call, with no commitment.
Sources
An informational guide prepared by We Are Psycho from reference bodies and guidelines. It does not replace an individual clinical assessment.